Archive for July, 2008

30
Jul

Future little Republican

   Posted by: admin   in Hilarious

I was talking to a friend of mine’s little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day.  Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, “If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?”

She replied, “I’d give houses to all the homeless people.”

“Wow - what a worthy goal.” I told her, “You  don’t have to wait until you’re  President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow, pull weeds, and  sweep my yard, and I’ll pay you $50.

Then I’ll take you over to the grocery  store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward a new house.”

She thought that over for a few seconds ’cause she’s only 6. And while her Mom glared at me, she looked me straight in the eye and asked, “Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?”

And I said, “Welcome to the Republican Party.”  Her folks still aren’t talking to me.

25
Jul

Obama is not a cool dude with the military

   Posted by: admin   in Soapbox

Hello everyone,

As you know I am not a very political person. I just wanted to pass along that Senator Obama came to Bagram Afghanistan for about an hour on his visit to ‘The War Zone’. I wanted to share with you what happened. He got off the plane and got into a bullet proof vehicle, got to the area to meet with the Major General (2 Star) who is the commander here at Bagram. As the Soldiers where lined up to shake his hand he blew them off and didn’t say a word as he went into the conference room to meet the General. As he finished, the vehicles took him to the ClamShell (pretty much a big top tent that military personnel can play basketball or work out in with weights) so he could take his publicity pictures playing basketball. He again shunned the opportunity to talk to Soldiers to thank them for their service. So really he was just here to make a showing for the American’s back home that he is their candidate for President. I think that if you are going to make an effort to come all the way over here you would thank those that are providing the freedom that they are providing for you. I swear we got more thanks from the NBA Basketball Players or the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders than from one of the Senators, who wants to be the President of the United States . I just don’t understand how anyone would want him to be our Commander-and-Chief. It was almost that he was scared to be around those that provide the freedom for him and our great country.
If this is blunt and to the point I am sorry but I wanted you all to know what kind of caliber of person he really is. What you see in the news is all fake.

In service,
CPT Jeffrey S. Porter
Battle Captain
TF Wasatch
American Soldier
(married and father of 6 children)

Please I hope they go out of business and hard!! They are criminals. Embezzlement and Racketeering are daily practices at this bank (and many others) I overdrew my account with a single purchase overdrawing the account by $12.50 They charged a $35 overdraft fee (criminal on its own but survivable) a few days later “fees” started to rack up.

Over the next few days they proceeded to DELETE roughly 10 days worth of transactions and then proceeded to REWRITE history in a new more convenient order. One that turns a $35 fee for a $12.50 overdraft into almost $400 in overdraft fees.

I tried to “reason” with them but they were unwilling to see reason I spent several weeks trying to compromise. They refused. I deposited my $12.50 and told them to F off.

Apparently Embezzlement is LEGAL for banks. (this new comment box SUCKS it keeps BOUNCING its shape and makes it very hard to type.

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=embez …

They are taking my money by “altering” the records of the transactions they STEAL my money. Its the definition of embezzlement.

This all started with CHECKS. Checks have NUMBERS. this created a problem what happens if check 101 comes in BEFORE check 100 comes in what happens if check 100 never comes in.

So a law was passed permitting them to pay out the checks OUT of order. The intent was to allow them to deposit check 101 before getting check 100 it was worded a little broad and banks abused this.

Originally SOME good intentions may have resulted from this. If they took in your $1200 mortgage payment before a few small checks they could avoid bouncing your very important mortgage payment.

It did not take long before banks realized they could abuse this. By ordering the checks from “LARGEST” to “SMALLEST” they could maximize the number of overdraft fees they can charge you. THIS is why there is a “clearing” time for checks much “longer” than is really needed.

The longer they can keep the checks in “limbo” or “pending” status the more time that passes for the number of checks to accumulate and increase the potential profit by a reording or the checks.

Then something happened. CHECK CARDS. No more checks. Not only that but they worked JUST like a credit card. If you did not have enough money the charge was DECLINED! This was a problem they made a TON LOAD of money from these fees. Thats when they realized they could do the same thing by making CC charged PENDING and reorder them but they needed a way to permit you to overdraw the account to capitalize on this.

Thats where there “convenient” micro loans come into play. They will LET you overdraw the account for the low low price of $35 per transaction. Cute. So if you have $2 in the account that $2.50 slurpee will now cost you $37.50 How nice of them.

SO users (such as me) demanded they take this “loan” ability OFF. I did not want it. Back and force and eventually they made it COMPULSORY. you HAD to accept this loan. (is that not racketeering by definition?) A racket is typically a fraud scheme where they offer for a fee a solution but they themselves MANUFACTURED the problem for which they now want you to pay to solve.

SUCH as a brute walking into your deli and demanding money for PROTECTION services. FROM HIM ie he will beat you up unless you pay him to NOT beat you up. Thats a RACKET.

Then it gets worse they say why not get overdraft protection. FOR A FEE off course. A service you WOULD NOT NEED if they did not FORCE you to accept micro loans and would simply RETURN yout debit card to the way it works for nearly 10 years. DECLINE charges when there is not sufficient funds.

They have stretched and abused the rule that lets them take checks out of order and are using it to rape and rob the very people who can not afford it.

Let me give you an example.

Lets say you have $45 in your account. You go out tonight you get a slurpee for $3 and they a back of chips for $2 at a gas station right before you put $10 of gas into your car. You get to the movies and buy a ticket for $10 and buy $5 in candy. You realized its a long movie and your gonna be thirsty and go back for a $5 cola. On the way home you hit the drive thru at mc donalds for $8.

Do the math. you have spent $43 and have $2 left in your account.

You wake up in the morning to a negative balance. oops you forgot about your $40 credit card payment. Damn. Now you have a negative balance and a $35 fee for the CC payment but at least they paid it.

The next day you wake up and suddenly things are quite different. NOW you have a negative balance of -$283 !!! how did that happen??

Easy. They ERASED all those things you bought a few nights ago and put the CC charge “first” so it cleared NO fee. but now your down to $5 so they then apply one of your $10 charges. Now you overdrew the account by $5 (your first fee) they they apply the other charges progressively smaller so instead of one overdraft you now have 7 $35 fees.

Cute ehh? and although its completely illegal they get away with it because the only people that will ever encounter it are people who can never afford to do anything about it. it RUINS peoples lives. For some people creating debt larged than some peoples salary for weeks even a month.

One might say well manage your money better. Does that mean they should be allowed to break the rules and ABUSE the condition to there advantage. Being responsible for my money is absorbing one fee for the overdraft. THEY Created the conditions to allows the fees to multiply with malicious intent.

The only reason I give a bank my money is so THEY can manage some of these issues for me otherwise I have no need for a bank. When they came out with debit cards that WORKED PROPERLY it was BLISS.

IF I DID THIS AT MY JOB I would be lucky to just get fired and avoid PRISON TIME. They do it openly and with continous malevalent intent and they just say its our policy.

Since when are policies allowed to break the law. Can I create a policy that says you are to murder anyone I choose and its legaly because its a policy?

They are literally orginized criminal institutions.

20
Jul

Funny email I got regarding Allah

   Posted by: admin   in Hilarious

Somebody was passing an email back and forth and I got a chuckle out of it, so I decided to cut and paste the email here to see if anyone else can get a laugh.

—– Original Message —-
From: The Zolad
To: The Sal
Sent: Wednesday, July 19, 2008 11:35:51 AM
Subject: Re: Allah

hahahaaha!

Dude, that email had me HOWLING in laughter!!!!   “hooking up with Allah and get nice sub-woofers when I die” is the best!!!!

YOU NEED TO POST THAT!

OH DUDE,  … HANG ON … I AM CHOKING & WATER IS RUNNING OUT OF MY NOSE FROM LAUGHING SO HARD!!!!!!!!

—– Original Message —-
From: Sal
To: The Zolad
Sent: Wednesday, July 16, 2008 4:53:01 PM
Subject: Re: Allah

I think he deserved a loud cluck, not a boo.  Too many other billions of people worship Allah.  You can’t say Allah is bad just from a few bad apples.  I have only corresponded with Allah a few times and don’t know him all that well, but he seems to be cool.  When you die you get to fuck 72 virgins and shit.  Not a bad deal.  And you get all of this for free simply by tying a bomb to your chest and walking into a building.  Imagine getting tons of free pussy for blowing yourself up into millions of pieces.  That’s one hell of a god, huh?

I wonder if I can hook up with Allah and get nice sub-woofers when I die.

— On Wed, 7/16/08, Zolad wrote:
From: The Zolad
Subject: Re: Allah
To: Sal
Date: Wednesday, July 16, 2008, 4:09 PM

<!–#yiv1944299038 iv358718468 DIV {margin:0px;}–>

He was being booed for paying honor to “Allah” in the US.   This is the god that Osama Bin Laden says called him to cause 9/11.

I think that deserves booing … don’t you?

—– Original Message —-
From: Sal
To: The Zolad
Sent: Wednesday, July 16, 2008 1:59:15 AM
Subject: Allah

See… there is no Allah/God thing.  That’s why the people boo’d him.

http://www.virtualfestivals.com/latest/news/5040

18
Jul

Voting Democrat will really hurt us for Big Oil

   Posted by: admin   in Political

Bill Phillips spent nearly 50 years in the US oil and gas industry; most of his career was with the Phillips Petroleum Company.  Bill is a descendant of Frank Phillips.

Frank Phillips, along with his brother Lee Eldas (L.E.) Phillips, Sr., founded the original Phillips Petroleum Company in 1917 in Bartlesville, OK.  Do you remember Phillips 66 gas stations?  Phillips Petroleum Company merged with Conoco, Inc. in 2002 to form the current Conoco Phillips Oil Company.

I think that you will find Bill’s thoughts and facts very revealing, very compelling and very difficult to argue with.

May 28, 2008 “Big Oil”

Did you know that the United States does NOT have any big oil companies.  It’s true: the largest American oil company, Exxon Mobil, is only the 14th largest in the world, and is dwarfed by the really big oil companies–all owned by foreign governments or government-sponsored monopolies–that dominate the world’s oil supply.

With 94% of the world’s oil supply locked up by foreign governments, most of which are hostile to the United States, the relatively puny American oil companies do not have access to enough crude oil to significantly affect the market and help bring prices down.  Thus, Exxon Mobil, a “small” oil company, buys 90% of the crude oil that it refines for the U.S.  market from the big players, i.e, mostly-hostile foreign governments.  The price at the U.S.  pump is rising because the price the big oil companies charge Exxon Mobil and the other small American companies for crude oil is going up as the value of the American dollar goes down.  They will eventually bleed this country into printing even more money and we will go into runway inflation once again as we did under the Carter reign.

This is obviously a tough situation for the American consumer.  The irony is that it doesn’t have to be that way.  The United States–unlike, say, France–actually has vast petroleum reserves.  It would be possible for American oil companies to develop those reserves, play a far bigger role in international markets, and deliver gas at the pump to American consumers at a much lower price, while creating many thousands of jobs for Americans.  This would be infinitely preferable to shipping endless billions of dollars to Saudi Arabia, Russia and Venezuela to be used in propping up their economies.

So, why doesn’t it happen?  Because the Democrat Party–aided, sadly, by a handful of Republicans–deliberately keeps gas prices high and our domestic oil companies small by putting most of our reserves off limits to development.  China is now drilling in the Caribbean, off Cuba but our own companies are barred by law from developing large oil fields off the coasts of Florida and California.  Enormous oil-shale deposits in the Rocky Mountain states could go a long way toward supplying American consumers’ needs, but the Democratic Congress won’t allow those resources to be developed.  ANWR contains vast petroleum reserves, but we don’t know how vast, because Congress, not wanting the American people to know how badly its policies are hurting our economy, has made it illegal to explore and map those reserves, let alone develop them.

In short, all Americans are paying a terrible price for the Democratic Party’s perverse energy policies.  I own some small interests in tiny, 4 barrel-per-day oil wells in Wyoming.  We have 14 agencies that have iron-hand jurisdiction over us.  If we drop any oil on the ground when the refinery truck comes to pick up oil from our holding tanks, we are fined.  Yet down the road the state will spray thousands of gallons of used oil on a dirt road to control dust.  When it rains that oil runs into rivers and creeks.  Yet a cup of oil on the ground at our wellhead is a $50,000 EPA fine plus additional fines from state regulating agencies.  They treat oil as if it were plutonium that has the potential to leak into the environment.  We are fined if our dirt burms are not high enough around a holding tank, yet the truck that picks up our oil runs down the road at 60 mph with no burm around it.  People wonder why there is no more exploration in this country.  It’s because of the regulators; people who have lived their whole lives doing nothing but imposing fines on small operators like us for doing mostly nothing.

So, America, enjoy your $4.00 per gallon gasoline.  Your dollar is now worth 0.62 Euro-Cents.  The lack of American production of GNP, the massive trade deficit (as labor markets have moved overseas to fight insanely high union imposed labor costs in America) and the run away printing of money (backed by nothing of value here in America) has caused the dollar to become more worthless on the international market.  And that’s where our oil comes from.  It’s paid for with dollars that become more worthless everyday.  If we had just kept par with the Euro we’d be paying $62 dollars per barrel for oil (42 gallons) o r about $1.50 instead of $2.50 a gallon for crude oil.

What the US government also does not tell you is that it is the leaseholder and royalty recipient of most oil production and receives 25% of the gross oil sales before we pay for electricity to lift the oil and propane to keep the oil-water separators from freezing in the winters.  We pay a pumper to visit each well everyday plus we have equipment failures all the time.  We pay for that out of our 75% of gross sales.  The government does not share in any expenses to run any production well.  So, if the Big Oil Companies are making record profits, then so is the federal government from it’s 25% tax on every molecule of oil sold to a refinery in this country.  Why isn’t the government on the stand for “Record” profits?

What you don’t see is this 25% of the sales price of crude oil being siphoned away by the government.

That money, plus the road taxes, state taxes, etc amounts to over $1 per gallon of gasoline you are buying, while the governments only admit to about 50 cents per gallon.

To all you Democrats, when you go vote for your candidate, a blazing liberal like Barrack Hussein Obama or Hillary Clinton, just keep in mind that their liberal spending habits will further decrease the value of the American dollar on the world market and your gasoline costs will hike even higher.  As they introduce more give-away programs, raise taxes on everyone to pay people not to produce or work, your dollar will continue to dwindle on the world market and you will be paying $10.00 per gallon at the next election.  Cheap hydrocarbon fuel is all over.

Enjoy!  Enjoy the fruits of your decision to elect these folks when you are there in that voting booth and you stab your pin through a Democrat’s name.

William “Bill” Phillips

16
Jul

Robin Williams for President

   Posted by: admin   in Hilarious

You gotta love Robin Williams….

Even if he’s nuts! Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan.  What we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message.

Robin Williams’ plan… (Hard to argue with his logic!)

“I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace.  So, here’s one plan.”

1) The US will apologize to the world for our “interference” in their affairs, past and present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those “good ole boys”. We will never “interfere” again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany , South Korea , the Middle East, and the Philippines . They don’t want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We’ll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They’re illegal!!! France will welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don’t like it there, change it yourself and don’t hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don’t need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

5) No foreign “students” over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don’t attend classes, they get a ‘D’ and it’s back home, baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don’t like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not “interfere.” They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don’t need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us, “Ugly Americans” any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH…learn it…or LEAVE…Now, isn’t that a winner of a plan?

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses.” She’s got a baseball bat and she’s yelling, ‘you want a piece of me?”

13
Jul

The Three Little Pigs - Italian Style

   Posted by: admin   in Hilarious

pig1.jpg

Once upon a time there were three little pigs. The straw pig, the stick pig and the brick pig.

One day this nasty old wolf came up to the straw  pig’s house and said, “I’m gonna huff and puff and blow your house down.”  And he did !!!

pig2.jpg

So the straw pig went running over to the stick pig’s house and said, “Please let me in, the wolf just blew down my house.” So the stick Pig let the straw pig in.

Just then the wolf showed up and said, “I’m gonna  huff and puff and blow your house down.” And he did!

pig3.jpg

So the straw pig and the stick pig went running over to the brick pig’s house and said, “Let us in, let us in, the big bad wolf just blew our houses down!”

So the brick pig let them in just as the wolf showed up The  wolf said, “I’m gonna huff and puff and blow your house down.” The straw pig and the stick pig were so scared! But the brick pig picked up the phone and made a call.

pig4.jpg

A  few minutes passed and a big, black Caddy pulls up.

Out step two massive pigs in pin striped suits and fedora hats. These pigs  come over to the wolf, grab him by the neck and beat the living shit out of him.  Then one of them pulled out a gun, stuck it in his mouth and fired and killed the wolf.  Then they tied cement blocks around his feet threw his sorry ass into the creek.  Then they got back into their Caddy and drove off!

pig5.jpg

The straw pig and stick pig were amazed! “Who the hell were those guys?”, they asked.

“Those were my cousins… the Guinea Pigs”

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